M. Jason Turner, poet

The Revenge Of The Mimes

I shall tell you tale that you must hearken

A story so vile that your spirit will darken

It began in my bedroom some time ago

And what took place filled me with wonder and woe

I lay in my bed..or should I say lie?

That always confuses me. I don’t quite know why.

But I digress, let’s get back to the tale

That will make your soul weep and your heart wail

So I was lying…laying.. I was IN my bed with covers pulled

Hoping that something under the bed hadn’t just drooled

But that puddle underneath wasn’t monster spittle

It was there because I had peed just a little

Please don’t ridicule me or my weak bladder

If you please stop interrupting I’ll tell you what was the matter

Now other than the room smelling like a city bus

With a scent surprisingly similar to asparagus

Nothing looked strange or seemed amiss

But something felt terribly wrong, just like a cousin’s kiss

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore my fears

I swallowed terror and fought back my tears

Finally I opened my scared peepers and looked around

Till I saw a figure standing in the dark making no movements or sound

I tried to escape but dashed were my hopes

Because I discovered I was bound by invisible ropes

My captor came closer revealing a face as pale as the dead

With dark streaks on his eyes like blood that was bled

He grabbed me with his evil, while gloved hands

Then threw me over his shoulder with no word of demands

He carried me out the front door like a whimpering potato sack

I feared I would soon be killed by this creature of white and black

Suddenly I was tossed as easily as a child skips a riverbed rock

Into what I could only, describe as an invisible box

I found myself surrounded by victims of similar crimes

“My God.” They cried. “We’re doomed, for it’s the revenge of the mimes!”

Like a wind that has been broken with an aroma so violent

These creepy killer clowns were both deadly and silent

Across the great land, these mimes they did roam

Snagging each resident of every hotel and home

Their dark powers grew along with their sins

It seemed nothing could stand in the way of Hell’s Harlequins

But suddenly I felt a strange presence and I began to glow

I had become possessed by the spirit or Marcel Marceau.

He had returned to the world from which he once did depart

Because the actions of his of his namesakes had broken his ghost heart

The king of Mimes filled me with his sadness and rage

So as if it were nothing I ripped open my cage

My soundless escape quickly noticed the Mimes began coming back

Like a silent march of evil penguins, they prepared to attack

I knocked a few down with an imaginary gale I made blow

Then I was pelted by rocks they pretended to throw

After distracting me while juggling make believe balls

They ran in slow motion and crashed through my invisible walls

I was then greeted by their silent, smiling squeals

As I slipped on a pile of unseen banana peels

I feared Marcel and I would soon be overpowered

By these jerks in their uncool bowties and stupid fake flowers

But then Marcel’s power awoken as if from a dream

And through me he let out a blood curdling silent scream

Like a Mime Messiah his amazing magic exploded

And all the good people’s bonds instantly eroded

Next was a sight that nearly left me deranged

When I watched as the people set free began to change

They all transmogrified into street performers of every kind

A more weird and wonderful army you could never find

There were tap dancers, fire breathers and jugglers

On stilts

Organ grinders with their monkeys and bagpipers in kilts

Sandwich board saviors ringing their end of world bells

Vendors shouting praises about their delicious food smells

Unemployed actors sang as blind men played the blues

Some shady looking guys were selling almost new shoes

Men were spray painted to look like silver and gold robots

There were many others too but the rest I forgot

We all stood there together, a raving lunatic mob

When all went quiet except for a single sob

I managed to fight back some well-deserved cheers

As my army and I stared at the Mimes coal black tears

The lead maniac mime actually stepped forward and spoke

“We surrender” he managed to say with a choke.

So before it had begun our battle came to an end

And those two-toned terrors blew away just like the wind

Soon my magic dissipated and Marcel rejoined the dead

Memories of it all faded and the world went back to bed

Now I am the only one left to tell of the time

When we all nearly succumbed to the Revenge of the Mimes